Phineas Pan
Deep within the hollow walls of Unicorn Island (Skull Island was taken), Perrybell has been captured by the evil Captain Candace. Perry chatters for help, with the cage hanging by Candace's hooked hand, she laughes. "Chatter all you want, platy-pixie, he'll never rescue you." she says. "Stacy!" she calls. "Yes, ma'm." says Candace's loyal henchman. "Do you have everything ready for our guest?" said Candace. "Yes, ma'm, everything is in place."says Stacy. All around them pirates were manning cannons everywhere. "Perfect, wait for my signal then fire." said Candace. "Ay, ma'm." said Stacy. "Uh, what's the signal." Candace frowns. "You'll know it when you hear it." she says. "When Pan comes to save his little pet, he's going to have a little surprise." says Candace with a sinister laugh. Suddenly a shadow swoops over her and the crew, and a voice says. "You know how my feelings are hurt when you don't invite me to your parties, Candace." Phineas Pan appears out of nowhere, with a big smile. "Well no need to worry Pan, the party is just getting started, FIRE!" she said. The crew pulled the cannons loose, but nothing happened. Candace was mad, "Stacy, did you forget to load the cannons?" she said. Stacy said: "But I'm sure we-" then another voice said. "Looking for these." Phineas' lost boys, Buford, and Baljeet, appears with thousands of cannons balls behind them. "Dissapointing party, Candace." said Phineas. Candaces face turned red in anger. "Run him through!" She commanded. The pirates drew there swords and charged at Phineas. Then Phineas jumped up and flew over the pirates, drawing his own sword and headed towards Candace. "Hold the animal." Candace said to Stacy as she passed Perry to her. Perry chattered angrily at the offense. Candace drew her sword and charged at the boy... "Blast you Phineas Pan!" said Ferb thrusting a plastic sword. "Surrender Captain Candace." said little Melissa. "Never, I'll teach you to cut off me hand." said Ferb swinging a coat hanger. "Ferb!" said Isabella looking angry. Ferb and Melissa looked worry. "You know it was the left hand." said Isabella. "Oh yeah, thank you Isabella." said Ferb, he switched the coat hanger to the other hand. Isabella, Ferb and Melissa lived in an orphanage. Isabella had grown up with a mother who told her stories of a heroic flying boy named Phineas Pan, after she died in a car crash Isabella decided to pass on the stories to the younger kids, almost the whole orphanage gathered around Isabella to hear her stories. "And now to vanquish you once and for all, foul villian." said Melissa. Melissa threw her sword at Ferb, but he ducks. One of the owners, Mr. Doofenshmirtz comes into the room. "Have any of you kids seen my coat hanger?" he said. The plastic sword flies toward Doofenshmirtz and hits him in the nose. "OOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUCH!!!!!" Ferb and Melissa are brought to Mr. Monogram's office, with Doofenshmirtz, his nose all red and swollen. "I wan' somesing done about zis." says Doofenshmirtz. "I understand, sort of." says Mr. Monogram. "Ferb and Melissa, why would you even think of playing such a dangerous game?" "It's in the story that Isabella told us." said Ferb. "In this story, Phineas Pan tries to rescue Perrybell, from the evil Captain Candace." said Melissa. "Wa a dey talking abou?" said Doofenshmirtz. "You kids are free to go, I want to seak to Isabella, alone." said Mr. Monogram. The kids went out of the room. "That includes you Mr. Doofenshmirtz." said Mr. Monogram. "I never see any fun." said Doofenshmirtz, as he walks out of the room mumbling. Isabella walks in. "You wanted to see me sir." she said. "I understand you've been telling these fairy tales to the kids." said Monogram. "Yes, but they're really fun." said Isabella. "Well, as you may have noticed, it has encouraged the kids to play these dangerous games, and people are getting hurt because of it." said Monogram. "Well, that's not there fault, they are kids after all." said Isabella. "Yes, but think about when they grow up, they don't need to be focusing on things that are real, not fairy tales." said Monogram. "But I love these stories, they make me feel like a kid again, and they remind me of my mom." said Isabella " I know how you feel Isabella, my mother used to tell me stories when I was a boy too, it always inspred me to be a writer." said Monogram." "So why didn't you?" asked Isabella." Isabella. "I mostly wrote children's stories, and my father always told me that I wouldn't be able to make a living, so I decided to give up writing." said Monogram. "Well, that's doesn't sound fair." said Isabella. "Well it was true, sooner or later all children have to grow up, and that includes you." said Monogram. Suddenly Isabella's eyes swelled up with tears. "Well maybe I don't want to grow up!" she said angrily, she ran out of the room crying. She ran passed Doofenshmirtz. "Stupid kid." he said. Isabella went back into her room, with Ferb and Melissa. "Isabella, I'm tired of this place." said Melissa. "Me, too." said Isabella. "Do you think we could ever leave this place, and go to Danland?" said Ferb. Isabella didn't know what to say. "I hope so." she said. The kids went into bed. Suddenly, Isabella sprung awake from hearing a swooshing sound. Isabella saw the shadow of a small person with a triangular head. Isabella got up and slowly crept up to the shadow, she leapt at it trying to catch the intruder. But she just fell on the floor to see that the shadow had no owner and it flew away on the wall. Isabella chased it around the room. She bumped into a strange figure. She turned on a light to catch a glimpse of the intruder, it was a small boy with green clothes red hair and a triangular head. "Hi there." said the boy. Isabella instantly knew who the boy was. "Phineas Pan?" she said in amazment. "The one and only." said the boy. "Wow, I can't believe you're really here." Isabella swung her arms around Phineas, afterwhich he blushed. Then a tiny platypus with wings flew right in front of her face, chattering angrily. "Perrybell, you're here too." said Isabella. Perry chattered again. "Did I say something?" said Isabella. "It's not you, he just gets jealous." said Phineas. "Well, why are you here?" asked Isabella. "For that." said Phineas, he pointed to the shadow trying to hide behind a dresser, but actually was around it. Phineas grabbed it. "My shadow's always running away from me." said Phineas. "Well, here, let me sew it back on for you." said Isabella. "Thanks." said Phineas. He gave the shadow to her, she got a pin and yarn, she started sewing the shadow back onto Phineas' foot. "You know what girl, you're alright." said Phineas. "My name's Isabella, actually." said Isabella. "That's a cute name." said Phineas. Isabella blushed, "Thanks." she said. "So who are the other kids over there." said Phineas. "That's Melissa and Ferb." said Isabella. "That's weird, I never seen brothers and sisters sleep in the same room before." said Phineas. "Oh, there not my brother and sister, there my roomates." said Isabella. "Your parents let other kids sleep in your house." said Phineas. Isabella looked awkward at the mention of parnets. "We don't really have parents." said Isabella, she looked sad. "Why do you look so sad, having no parnets is awesome, you can do whatever you want." said Phineas. "Oh, how I wish that were true." said Isabella,as she finished sewing. "What do you mean?" said Phineas. "In here there are some other adults taking care of us." said Isabella. "Well that's a bummer." said Phineas. Phineas got an idea. "Hey, I know, you can come home with me to Danland, noone will ever tell you what to do there." said Phineas. Isabella's face brightened up. "Really, oh that would be wonderful." she said. Perry got mad, and started pulling on Isabella's hair. "Ouch!" she yelled. "Hey, stop it Perry!" said Phineas. He took flight chasing Perry around the room. The chaos woke up Melissa. She saw Phineas, "It's Phineas Pan, Ferb wake up, Phineas Pan is here." she said. Ferb woke up too. She walked up to Phineas. "Hello Mr. Pan I'm Melissa." she said. "Hello." said Phineas. "My name is Ferb, how do you do?" said Ferb. Phineas giggled. "What?" said Ferb. "You talk weird." said Phineas. "Phineas." said Isabella, scoldingly. "Well, now that we all know you exhist, how about you take us all to Danland." said Isabella. "Sure, the more the merrier." said Phineas. The kids cheered with joy. "But, there's still one thing you need to get to Danland." said Phineas. "What is it?" said the kids together. "Dust." said Phineas. "Dust?" said the kids. "Yep, platy-pixie dust." said Phineas. He turned his head up to Perry. "Perry, do your stuff." he said. Perry crosses his arms, put his beak in the air and let out a "Hmph!" "Okay then." said Phineas. He flew up to Perry, grabbed him by the wings and shook him, dropping sparkling dust on the kids. Suddenly the kids stated floating off the ground. "Wow." said Isabella. "Wee!" said Melissa. "Oh, my." said Ferb. "Next stop, Danland." said Phineas. "But wait, how do we get there?" said Isabella. "Just head for the second star to the right, and go straight on 'till morning." said Phineas. Phineas and the group took flight. Meanwhile, on a large pirate ship, teenage pirates were calling each other on cellphones and playing videogames. All except Captain Candace who was pacing around, mumbling to herself. "That little brat, making a fool out of me." she mumbled. "Why not just give up captain, no matter how many times you try, Phineas Pan is still going to outwit you." said Stacy. "Have you forgotten, Stacy, that he's responsible for this." said Candace, she held up her hook hand. "Thanks to him my beautiful hand is in the belly of that scaly vermin, Suzy." "Well, look on the bright side, now it'll take less time to get a mani." said Stacy. Candace swung her hook at Stacy, but she ducked just in time. "I'm captain of this ship, and when I see that brat again, he's going down, D-O-W-N, down!" said Candace. "Methinks, the captain's lost it." whispered a pirate, to another. Suddenly a pirate in the crow's nest called down to the brig. "Phineas Pan, ahoy!" he said with a crack in his voice. At the sound, Candace pulled out her telescope. She saw Phineas, Perry and the kids flying to the island on the horizon. She smiled and creepily giggled. "It is Pan, and it looks like he's brought some friends. She turned to Stacy. "Stacy, get the crew to there stations." she said. "Aye, ma'm." said Stacy. She blew a whistle. "All hands to battle stations!" said Stacy. The zitty pirates scrambled to there spots. "Take aim!" said Candace. The cannons turned to the group. Stacy covered her ears. The group rested on a cloud to look at the island down below. "Oh, Phineas it's beautiful." said Isabella. "I know." said Phineas. "You can see everything form up here." said Ferb. "Look, there's the Fireside Mermaid's lagoon." said Isabella. "There's the Badink-Adink camp." said Ferb. "Look, there's a pirate ship." said Melissa. "Pirate ship?" said Phineas. Suddenly, there was a loud boom, and a black cannon ball was flying towards them. "Look out!" said Phineas. The group flew over and dodged the ball just in time. "So the old captian wants a fight does she?" said Phineas. He flew towards the pirate ship, the rest of the group stayed at the cloud to watch. "More cannon balls! Come on! Come on!" yelled Candace. "Yes, ma'am!" saluted Stacy, as she ran into the poop deck. "And stop calling me 'ma'am'!" "Yes, m... I mean... captain." "That's better!" Suddenly, Phineas appeared and flew over and around the ship as fast as he could. "Oh, Captain Candace?" he laughed. "There he is! Shoot! Shoot!" Candace ordered with rage. But many cannon balls were shot and dodged, and Phineas kept mocking. Soon, Phineas floated down onto the plank. "Since I'm feeling generous, I'll give you a chance." He drew his sword. "I've been looking forward to this, Pan! Stacy, my sword!" Stacy gave Candace her sword, and Candace charged at Phineas with an evil smile. "This time, Phineas Pan," she said. "You are..." But before Candace can even touch him, Phineas flew into the air, and Candace ran off the plank unwittingly. "...Busteeeeeed!" Candace screamed as she fell into the sea with a huge splash. Candace's pirate crew bent overboard, looking down into the ripples, muuering with worry. Soon, her head popped out of the water and she spat some out. "Are you okay, captain?" Stacy called. "I'm fine, Stacy, but that brat won't be when I'm through with him!" she replied. She became even madder when she saw Phineas walking around her on the water with a sly smile. "You know, Candace, I always thought you needed a bath." he snickered mockingly. "You have not seen the last of me, Phineas Pan! I'll..." A loud ticking noise suddenly emerged, and Candace cringed with terror by the very sound of it. "Oh, no! Not her! Not now!" she worried. "Uh, oh. Better go. It sounds like it's time for lunch." Phineas said as he flew away. And with the blink of an eye, Suzy the Crocodile rose out of the water. "Lunch time!" she giggled. Terrified, Candace swam onto the anchor. "STACY!" she yelled with terror. "Pull the anchor up, you fools! The anchor! Hurry up! She's coming!" Stacy and some of the crew soon began spinning the crank and the anchor came rising out of the water. "Come on, guys! Spin!" Stacy ordered. Suzy took a bite at Candace, but only tore off the back of her skirt, revealing Candace's Ducky Momo underpants. "Yummy!" acknowledged Suzy. The anchor soon made it to the top with a terrified Candace who leapt on Stacy. "She's after me, Stacy! Don't let her get me please! She bit me! Save me!" Candace spoke quickly. Stacy put Candace on one of the stools as the crew comforted her. "Don't worry, captain. I'll take care of it." Stacy said as she walked towards Suzy. "You should be ashamed of yourself!" she scolded Suzy. "Scaring the poor captain like that!" "Hungry!" Suzy complained. "Oh, no! There won't be any handouts for you today! Now go! Shoo! Go on! Get out of here! You're not wanted!" As Stacy continued scolding her, Suzy frowned and swam back into the waters. Candace was hiding under a towel which her crew wrapped around her. "Is she gone, Stacy?" Candace asked as a pirate member was taking pictures of her Ducky Momo underpants with his phone. "It's all right, captain, everything's all right now." replied Stacy. She lifts Candace off the chair, takes the picture-taking pirate's phone and throws it overboard, and led Candace into her cabin. "Come on, captain, it's time for your haircut." said Stacy. "Oh, what am I gonna, Stacy? I can't stand it any longer! What am I gonna..." whimpered Candace. Stacy sat Candace onto her chair. "Now, captain, try to forget all about what happened today and just relax." She is still frightened. "Try sleeping while breathing in and out at the same time." Candace soon becomes relaxed and falls fast asleep. "Ah, now that's better." smiled Stacy. Candace started snoring loudly, and Stacy's smile fades to a frown. "Or maybe not." TO BE CONTINUED... Category:Phineas and Ferb Fairy Tales Category:Fanon Works Category:Spoofs